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Fluidity in Sexual & Romantic Orientation

 Sexuality can be a fluid experience. I know from past experience of identifying as a gay male that would occasionally alternate with biromanticism that my sexual and romantic orientations could be fluid, but I didn't realize to what degree until I started socially, and later medically, transitioning.

I am genderfluid: equal parts femboy, masculine girl, and otherkin (partially nonhuman, particularly technogender, which is a gender that has a strong connection to technology, and aliencatgender, which means that I sometimes feel alienated from gender and like I'm trying on human genders and I'm also a cat, but that ties into my neurodivergence and they can fall under the xenogender and agender umbrellas). I can identify with the gay, lesbian, and bi communities, as well as the trans and queer communities, not to mention the asexual/agender spectrums. I am also possibly at least hormonally intersex, as I am very sensitive to estrogen injections, but I am simply trying to align my gender identity more with it.

More particularly, I am omnisexual, which means that I am attracted to all genders to varying degrees. I am also demisexual, which means that I must have a connection to the person before engaging in sexual activity, otherwise I tend to get severe rejection sensitive dysphoria. I would say that my romantic orientation is panromantic, however, which means I fall in love with people regardless of gender. This is far removed from the restricted life of thinking I had to be a gay male and that it was the only option. For many years of my life, I thought it was the only option because I was told I couldn't be a girl when I was very young.

Now I realize I don't have to stick to the binary at all, that I belong in many LGBTQIA+ communities, and that I don't have to restrict myself to one way of thinking about myself or being myself. I can be as Queer as I want to be and take Pride in that, and I know that sexuality and romantic orientations can be fluid, so I no longer fret when I'm focusing my physical attention towards one gender more than another. In addition, I am also polyamorous, so that gives me a slight advantage in that arena. I realize that my sexual and romantic orientations don't always match, but my romantic orientation tends to stay more fixed in its presentation overall. 

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